No amount of theorizing and preparation can necessarily protect you from life happening. Time goes on, you budget poorly, have inconsistent sleep habits, your family is critical of your life decisions, you eat, shit, and have dreams where you fly or forget to wear clothes to work.
Overall your job is alright. Some days are great, you are stimulated and learning and connecting. Then, its just fine. Then, it feels like a trap. You wonder if things can ever really be that different than this.
The flowery, pseudo-intellectual vocabulary that you picked up as a college student has almost completely faded from your daily speech patterns. Your just a normal average person. Your not the special snowflake that your private schooling made you believe yourself to be.
At times you find yourself sitting on your couch, a dull hollowness weighs on your stomach. The same feeling that you saw in so many adults around you growing up. The one you were so afraid of falling prey to that you made every decision you could to step off that path you saw them on. But maybe it wasn’t just them you were seeing that quality in before, but yourself. Maybe thats just who you are.
As the cliché goes, running away from the path of the daily grind has run you right into it.
So here you are, brushing your teeth, still not regularly flossing. Unsure about your future. Unsure about your present. Unsure about your relationships. Critical of your decisions. Avoiding the criticism of your family by avoiding your family.
This is mundanity. Be very afraid.